How I Teach My Daughter to Love Her Natural Hair

How one mom imparts some tender tips and lessons in self-confidence.

When I was younger I never even knew how my natural hair looked. My mom relaxed my hair at a very young age so I don’t even remember how it looked before she put a relaxer in it. When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter 5 years ago, I knew that I never wanted to put a relaxer in my daughter’s hair. I knew I wanted different for my daughter. What I wanted was to educate her on her hair—but more than that, I wanted her to love her natural hair. 

I wanted her to understand and feel these things because natural hair is unique and beautiful just the way it is. I wanted her to know that her curls are a part of who she is and to embrace them with confidence. 

Getting these messages across to her is profoundly important to me. Here are some ways that I teach her to love her natural hair:

Daily Affirmations

We recite daily affirmations in the mirror every morning. During this time we bond. I tell her how beautiful she is and also that her hair is beautiful but does not define her. 

We recite affirmations like “I am not my hair”, “My hair is beautiful but does not define me”, “I love my curls because they are unique.” These affirmations help her to understand that her hair is unique just like she is. 

Involve Her In Her Hair Routine

Wash day in our house used to be a chore. Now that Riley enjoys wash day, I turn it into a self-care day for her. I am teaching her young that self-care is important.

I love to involve her in wash day by letting her help pick out the products to wash her hair with and also she gets to choose the style I create for her. This has helped her love her hair and also love wash day! We also sing songs and make it a fun activity. This has helped turn wash day from being a chore to being a very enjoyable time to care for her unique curls!

Editor’s tip: Regardless of what your hair routine is, never be without moisture. We love the TRESemmé Botanique Nourish & Replenish Leave-In Hydrating Mist for providing that extra boost whenever you need it.

Reading Books

Reading books that have curly girls in them has really helped my daughter understand more about her natural hair. There are so many books that speak on natural hair but one of my favorites is Love Your Hair by Dr. Phoenix Austin. It is about a little girl who is super confident who also loves her hair and wants every beautiful brown-skinned girl to love their hair too! 

Taking Selfies With Our Matching Hairstyles

I love taking selfies with my daughter. Especially when our hair is in a similar style. I will tell her, “Look! your hair is just like mom’s.” She can relate to her hair looking like mine.

I will continue to find ways to speak life into my daughter and teach her that her hair is beautiful but does not define her. These small daily acts will, I hope, make a big lifelong impact. 

Do you have children? How do you teach them to love their hair?

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